Sour Cream and Onion Potato Chips Are From Hell


Resisting Satan’s Tempting Foods

They appear so innocent. On the shelf. Sitting there pretending to mind their own business – like they don’t see me as I walk by.

I hear this voice, “You know you want me, Angela. I’m sooooo yummy.” In less than half a second they’re in the cart. How did they get there? “They’re not mine, baby…”

Classified under stupid yummy. Pull off the road for no reason but to run into the store just to grab them yummy. Make your husband run out and cause a fight if he says, “no,” yummy. Stupid yummy.

A brisk walk to the car. Tongue peeking out between my lips. I could barely wait to open them. Grabbed the chips out of the bag. Sat in the car. Cracked open the bag. Well, I tried.

My stupid fingers failed me – I suck at those bags. I can never pull the pre-tabbed pull strip. I must possess the motor skills of 3 year old. Annoyed and frantic, I tossed the bag to my husband, “Open this clown!”

Ahhhh. Like a junkie, I moaned and eased my head back as I crunched through that first glorious handful.

I hunted for the the rolled and double stacked chips much like Cujo stalked and ate his prey. Not pretty for the voyeur, but 100% satisfying for me. The chip shrapnel re-colored my black tank top. I like yellow. “You stay classy San Diego…”

We All Struggle With Temptation

People think that I only eat kale, that I don’t experience food cravings, and seem to forget that I lost 100 lbs. I understand the temptation of yummy foods – the ones that lack nutrition, and I struggle with it just like you. So how do I resist the temptation of Satan’s foods? Sometimes I don’t. Those chips didn’t have a prayer.

We all have our “foods from satan” lists – the ones that tempt us the most, bring us to our knees, maybe even reduce us to rabid animal-like characters covered in food remnants. (I’m in no way referring to myself.)

It’s normal – and healthy – to indulge yourself once in a while and eat those tempting foods from Satan from time to time. The distinction between a healthy indulgence and an unhealthy bad habit lies in how much of it you eat and how often you eat it.

Tips Dealing with Tempting Foods from Satan

1. Indulge Once in a While

  • Be smart and know your body. “Once in a while” will vary with the food and person.
  • Know your weaknesses. Prioritize them.
  • Indulge infrequently so it’s more satisfying. Otherwise, it becomes an unhealthy eating habit and you’ll gain weight. Your treat becomes ordinary and like an addict, you’ll need a larger, stronger dose of your “personal crack food” to get you high – not a healthy practice.

2. Size Does Matter

Portion size counts. Equate an indulgence of a Satan food with a double size portion – not the whole bag, container, bar, or batch.

If your indulgence means sucking down the whole bag faster than Dyson technology has invented, you probably want to limit that to very infrequently – say, almost never – for a long list of reasons you should discuss with a close friend or therapist.

3. Lose the Guilt

If you decide to indulge, check your guilt at the door. If you won’t enjoy it, don’t do it.

4. Recognize Regular Cravings 

As I’ve posted in my blog on how to detect and deflect food cravings, if you crave certain foods on a consistent basis, you need to consider an imbalance in your body. Regular cravings are a sign of something else you need to address.

Don’t indulge those cravings. Big difference. Take a couple minutes to recognize it.

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